Life is short.

A Post-Advanced Placement Chemistry Examination

"It's what you learn after you know everything that's important."

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Adapted from Chemistry,

Volume 65, Number 6.

April 1972, pg. 3

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Instructions: Answer all questions. Begin immediately.

Time limit: 2 hours.

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History: Describe the history of the Papacy from its origins to the present day, concentrating especially, but not exclusively, on its social, political, economic, religious and philosophical impact on Europe, Asia, America and Africa. Be brief, concise and specific.

Chemistry: Reproduce from memory the entire periodic table with all known values of physical constants to the limits of their uncertainties. For each element, discover enough new properties to correspond to each Greek and Arabic letter not in current use as symbols for physical constants. Use your data to formulate a new theory of science.

Medicine: You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze, and a bottle of scotch. Remove your appendix. Do not suture until you work has been inspected. You have fifteen minutes.

Public Speaking: 2500 riot-crazed aborigines are storming the classroom. Calm them. You may use any ancient language except Latin or Greek.

Biology: Create life. Estimate the differences in subsequent human culture if this form of life had developed 500 million years earlier, with special attention to its probable effect on the English Parliamentary System. Prove your thesis.

Music: Write a piano concerto. Orchestrate and perform it with flute and drum. You will find a piano under your seat.

Physchology: Based on your knowledge of their works, evaluate the emotional stability, degree of adjustment, and repressed frustrations of each of the following: Alexander of Aphrodisis, Rameses II, Hammuarabi. Support your evaluation with quotations from each man's work, making appropriate references. It is not necessary to translate.

Sociology: Estimate the sociological problems which might accompany the end of the world. Construct an experiment to test your theory.

Engineering: The disassembled parts of a high-powered rifle have been placed on your desk. You will also find an instruction manual, printed in Swahili. In 10 minutes, a hungry bengal tiger will be admitted to the room. Take whatever action you feel necessary. Be prepared to justify your decision.

Economics: Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the national debt. Trace the possible effects of your plan in the following areas: Cubism, the Donatist Controversy and the Wave Theory of Light. Outline a method for preventing these effects. Criticize this method from all possible points of view. Point out the deficiencies in your point of view, as demonstrated in your answer to the last question.

Political Science: There is a red telephone on the desk beside you. Start World War III. Report at length on its socio-political effects if any.

Epistemology: Take a position for or against truth. Prove the validity of your stand.
Physics: Explain the nature of matter. Include in your answer an evaluation of the impact of the development of mathematics on science.

Philosophy: Sketch the development of human thought. Estimate its significance. Compare with the development of any other kind of thought.

General Knowledge: Describe in detail. Be objective and specific.

Cosmology: Define the universe. Give three examples.

Ecology: From readily available starting materials (i.e., "I think, therefore I am," and hydrogen), devise a total synthesis of the planet Earth down to the most subtle chemical detail. Discuss barriers that you would encounter in carrying out this synthesis and how you would overcome these barriers.

Extra Credit: Find the answer to the question of life, the universe, and everything that exists.

Randomness.

I've killed it. I have 3 lab reports to do for tomorrow and I aint even started.

Actually that's a lie; I have started..done about 4 lines...just been on a break since a few hours ago :/

Why does work have to be SO boring? Never mind - that's a rhetorical.

There's 2 new rides @ Drayton Manor; can't wait to go. I dunno what's happening to some of ma mates, apparently they "just don't do theme parks anymore"...they've turned into grannies already and they're only 19/20! Or is it me who's still being immature? Never mind - that's also a rhetorical. Been ages since I went to a theme park, since we left school actually...gosh. I think I might've gone once after that with the dars people.
Its that buzz that attracts me. People have to look beyond the heat and the crowds and the noise and smelly, sweaty people and focus on the ultimate goal: The Maelstrom.

Wicked.

I've heard there might be a Muslim Day@ Alton Towers soon which means you'll be listening to nasheeds while waiting in a queue of [as segregated as possible] Muslims. etc. Sounds like something they'd do in America..its a good idea tho innit.


I'm getting sick of these McVities Chocolate Digestives. The crumbs remind me if the Cookie Monster.

Why isn't 'cookie' spelt like its pronounced, like 'kukee'? And 'biscuit' spelt 'biskit'? And 'knife' spelt 'naaif'? At least it would prevent english learners from the embarassment of saying 'kanaaif' in front of people and call versace 'versase'. English is such a silly language (yeah, I know versace ain't an english word..just thought i'd add that cuz it was hilarious when this lady said it once).

lol, the 'knife' one reminds me of our tajweed teacher @ school. She was asking one of the girls about the rule of ikhfaa and the she was saying how the 'noon' shouldn't be stressed (the girl was pretty stressed herself as she wasn't too confident with her tajweed at the time). The class sat in fearful silence. All of a sudden the teacher says 'HAWAAAAAAAAAAAAI?'. We looked at each other wondering "what's hawai got to do with anything? and why's she shouting about it?"

The teacher repeated it again after nobody replied. "I said hawaaaaaaaaaaai?". I wanted to laugh so badly. I had to bite my tongue from getting a detention. One of the braver girls asked "sorry sister, we don't understand. what do you mean?".

The teacher replied, "HAWAAI do you say za noon like zat?".

She meant 'WHY'!!

See how eschubed al-lughatul injleeziyyah is?! Where the heck did the H come from?? lol.

aaaaaanyways, the sun's decided to show it's face for a minute before hiding behind the clouds that are so generous with the rain and it reminds me that I gotta do these reports that are worth almost half my overall grade.

Please make du'aa for me as I'm in need of it quite badly.

Oh yeah, just to let people know, I can't seem to reply to my own comments for some reason.

Wa salaamun 'alaykum.

Procrastination is...

when you have an exam in less than 36 hours and you spend all day lazing about the house.

when you surf the net, checkin out blogs and forums, and downloading random nasheeds and tilaawah when you've got 10 modules to revise in 2 days.

when you've got all your notes/books/pens in front of you set for a cramming session, you lean back to contemplate life, and fall asleep.

when you step into your room to revise and remember you've got to hoover the pool room, do the dusting and spend some quality time with the familia.

when you log onto your university website to check your mail for any updates on tutorials etc, and instead you log onto the isoc's page and spend ages surfing that.

when your mum and sis-in-law invite you for a walk, you decline the offer saying you've got revise, and then spend 3 hours doing jack.


I've concluded that the only thing I don't procrastinate in is the Art of Laziness...also known as The Art of Leaving Things to The Last Minute.

Can't wait till the 20th, man..no more stressing about not stressing enough.